He Knows

Everything was blurry, yet I sensed movement.  It felt as though I were navigating in darkness, with just a hint of light.  Within moments, I found myself standing in front of a door with light illuminated from behind it.  Within moments it opened, revealing a brilliant, warm glow.  I could barely see him standing there as the light shone around and seemingly through him.  His arms were extended to me, but I froze, unable to move toward him.  My heart filled with a peaceful ecstasy as I sensed his welcome.  All of the past rejections and pains melted into an otherworldly peace.  I was overcome with delight like I had never known before.  I reveled in the moment for as long as I could endure.

Then knowing there were tasks awaiting my attention and with a satisfied soul, I returned to my duties.  Yet in a short time, I longed for another glimpse of the soul-satisfying encounter, so I returned.  And he stood at the door again, ready to receive me.  Delight and energy filled me before I returned once again to my responsibilities.  I suddenly awoke to realize my encounter was a vivid dream.

 Awakened …

The dream left me elated, yet lethargic.  My inner being was ecstatic while my body felt heavy and drained.  But it was time to arise and prepare for a full day. So I found my favorite space and started the day with prayer.  Studying was out of the question as my mind and emotions bounced around from delightful thoughts and feelings about the dreamy encounter.  Yet the quiet prayerful start to the day was refreshing.

Sometime thereafter, I was pleasantly surprised to see a message on my phone from an acquaintance.  We had spent hours together working toward common goals.  Since our lives had taken different paths, we had interacted very little recently, and I wondered how things were going.  Yet, it puzzled me to see a warning from the messaging app that the contents might be harmful and that I might consider reporting it.  As I read the message, I was unexpectedly disheartened as angry and wounding words spewed bitterness toward me and others we had known.  I readily knew the source of pain.  I had not been a part of it.  But, it would seem I was guilty simply by association.

After I recovered from the shock, my heart broke again.  I had spent hours invested in prayer and conversation, sharing insights and goodwill with this person.   The challenging connection had been wearisome at times, but I had given all I knew to give to this relationship.  Yet in that moment, my mind and heart began to reel.  Where was this coming from?  Why was there such anger?  What happened to the camaraderie we had shared?  How could these angry, biting words be sent to me after all I poured out in an effort to be helpful? 

 Truth …

Again, my thoughts turned to prayer as my heart ached for a seemingly lost friend.  In time my emotions calmed, and the routines of my day began to unfold.  Then I realized the truth of the words Jesus spoke when He said:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.  Matthew 6:5-8 niv [emphasis added]

In that moment, I realized He knew.  Yes, God knew the message that would be delivered to my inbox.  He knew my heart would break.  And He knew what would calm my mind and emotions so I could meet the demands of the day.  He sent His Spirit to soothe my soul in a dream before the day even began.  Remembering its warmth and welcome would give me the strength to continue. 

He knows what lies ahead for each of us.  He knows what we will need in each moment.  And He promised to provide.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19 kjv

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