24 years …

“He was 24 years old …”

She spoke quite dramatically.

The message came as a complete shock.  I had heard he was ill a long time ago, but since no updates had come, I just assumed his health had returned.  Yet the unexpected phone call proved otherwise. 

The moments that followed were surreal.  I just could not wrap my mind and emotions around what had been shared with me. Even now, a wave of unbelief washes over me.  Did I hear that correctly?  Surely not!  I had so many questions.  But there were no answers. 

He was half a country away from me.  But he was my relative.  I had not seen him in a few years.  But he was such a young man.  Isn’t the future supposed to be framed by young adults like him?  But whatever his contribution to society could have been  would be no more.  He was gone.  He passed away.  He died.

He died … So what does that mean?

After a time, I began to consider our families, communities and even our nation.  How many young adults fall before reaching their prime?  Who will live long enough to accomplish their life’s purpose?  And what is the purpose each of us is to fulfill?  Then of course, my mind drifted to the many that might be searching for answers to similar questions.   I began to examine my own thoughts and actions, wondering if I provide a worthy example or shining light for those laden with queries. 

In my soul searching, I remembered the words penned by Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust and concentration camp survivor:  “… we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us … Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct … Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out, a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment.  Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated.  Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.” _{(Man’s Search for Meaning – emphasis added)}

And just like that, the opportunity ended for this 24-year-old young man to fulfill his unique assignment in life.  Had he accomplished everything he was meant to do?  Were his days cut short?  What would happen to things he left undone?  How would the dynamics of our family change now that he could no longer be part of us?  How might society be impacted by his loss?

Loss – that was the word I could not seem to reconcile.  I simply did not know how to deal with this profound sense of loss even as I grappled with the need to find what life expects from me, as Mr. Frankl noted.

Is there a purpose for the loss, the pain?

Soon my searching led me to words penned by Lisa Wingate:  “Life isn’t all about getting what you need from people.  Sometimes you’re put with someone because you have what they need.”  _{(The Language of Sycamores)}  Life – purpose – meaning – fulfillment, all words worthy of reflection.  Yet included in life  are words such as pain and suffering.  Pain and suffering, that was my experience in this loss.  This young, vibrant and promising life, had ended, producing pain for me and others who cared about him.  Was there a purpose for this pain? 

Viktor Frankl offered encouraging insight into suffering when he posed a question to a therapy group. He described the exchange like this: 

“The question was whether an ape, which was being used to develop poliomyelitis serum and for this reason punctured again and again, would ever be able to grasp the meaning of its suffering.

  Then I pushed forward with the following question:  ‘And what about man?  Are you sure that the human world is a terminal point in the evolution of the cosmos?  Is it not conceivable that there is still another dimension, a world beyond man’s world; a world in which the question of an ultimate meaning of human suffering would find an answer?’” _{(Man’s Search for Meaning)}

Where do we go from here?

And then my mind drifted to these questions:  Are we fulfilling our purposes?  How can we know?   I found comfort in a prayer Jesus offered just before the end of His own life:

After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: 

“Father, the time has come.  Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 

For you granted him authority over all people,

that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 

Now this is eternal life:  that they may know you, the only true God,

and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 

I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. 

And now, Father, glorify me in your presence

with the glory I had with you before the world began.  

John 17:1-5 niv (emphasis added)

My young family member was gone.  No longer can he make conscious choices to contribute, but there are many of us who remain.  What will we contribute?  Will our choices seek to benefit only ourselves, our appetites and desires?  Will we make the unique contribution that others await?  Will we bring glory to God on earth by completing the work He has for us to do?

And what works might He have for us to do?

Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?”

Jesus answered, “The work of God is this:  to believe in the one he has sent.”  

John 6:28-29 niv

Warrior of the Word / Tanja Dufrene