“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord … Jeremiah 29:11-14 niv
The sky was overcast. The temperature moderate, especially for the middle of winter. I noticed my daily commute was easier than usual and wondered about the lack of traffic. Even as I had dressed and prepared for the day, the time had seemed in my favor, so I reached the office earlier than usual. But it was un-usual for the digital photo frame on my desk not to be scrolling through my favorite scenes upon my arrival.
Not thinking too much about it, I started completing routine tasks. My lunch needed to be put in the refrigerator. My cup needed to be filled with ice and water. A quick check of emails did not include anything urgent. The voicemail on my phone was a spam call. But there was an unsettling vibe in the office. Strange, I thought, why does something feel off? No one else is even here yet.
Eventually I turned my attention to the photo frame, hoping to enjoy the scrolling photos throughout the day. It had not been working properly for the last couple of weeks. And today was no different. If I could not get it to auto play, the worship music I enjoyed in the background through my workday would be lost. Plugging and unplugging, hitting different buttons, and any other type of troubleshooting I could think of resulted in nothing. It would not turn on. It would not scroll my preloaded photos. And it would not allow the songs of worship I so greatly enjoyed to fill the quietness.
Realizing the frame was old and well used, I conceded it likely needed to be replaced. So I turned my attention to the day’s work. Quickly thereafter, an email appeared with a somewhat cryptic message. I was instructed to meet in HR at a specified time. Immediately my heart quickened. My mind began to race through previous days and events. I could not identify a specific conversation or task where I had failed to meet expectations. Abba, what is this? I’ve never been called to HR before. Why do I suddenly feel threatened? Where is Your peace for me?
Eventually the set time came and I arrived in a room I had not previously visited. My boss walked by the open doorway with an expression on his face I had never seen before. Soon thereafter, he and an HR representative entered the room where I stood. Within moments, the rhythm of my life was disrupted. No longer would I drive to the office each day. No longer would I enjoy working with the team. The present downturn in business had led leadership to eliminate many positions.
In an instant, I seemingly transformed from a valued and trusted employee to a suspicious potential saboteur. My attitude had not changed, nor had my behavior. I still wanted only the best for my company, my team and their future. Why must I be made to feel as though I were suddenly a threat? The answer is obvious. I felt threatened; my routines of life and my livelihood had been quickly removed. So of course, it is natural that an employer had concerns of how those of us affected might respond. In an instant, through a very brief conversation, the music stopped for me that day.
Now I had a torrent of emotions to manage, a desk to clear out, and a walk of shame to make. Everything swirled inside like a tornado. How can I quietly grab my things and slip away unnoticed like they asked me to do? Where will my next employment be? What will I be doing? How much will I earn? Will it be enough? Do my teammates already know? Should I say good-bye or leave quietly as requested? How much time do I have before we run out of money? How long will it take to find a new job and get on-boarded? Abba, where are You? You reminded me just recently my steps are ordered by You. What’s the next step? And by the way, thank You for helping me maintain a calm demeanor. Abba, please help them. I know this has to be hard on them as well. They are delivering difficult messages to a number of people. Thank you for giving me the words to share with them. I told them I was scrambling, yet trying to make it as easy on them as possible even as I saw they were trying to be kind to me. It was not their decision, nor was it mine.
In time and in His ever-loving ways, He reminded me:
The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord up holds him with his hand. Psalm 37:23-24 niv
From one moment to the next, our lives can all too quickly be turned upside down. All that we have planned – vacations, visits, budgets, meetings – can come to a screeching halt. In those moments when the music ends, where will we go? To what do we look for stability, guidance, hope, comfort, peace?
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 niv
As I write this, the answers have not yet been revealed. I am waiting for the next step to be clarified but am hopeful the music will be playing again by the time you read this. Please pray for me in my new symphony, and I will pray for you that together we create a harmony so lovely, so beautiful that those around us are inspired by the melodic masterpiece our Master creates through our willingness to obey and follow.
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