But God …

  “Say something about God,” he said as he thrust the microphone in my hand.

  Suddenly, I was standing center stage before an audience anxiously awaiting my words.  The lights were bright.  The room was dark.  I was hesitant.  I had exerted great effort to remain in the background.  This is a men’s conference, I reasoned with myself.  Of course they need a few women to help – and I’m happy to help – in the shadows.  But now I was standing before them.  No more hiding or serving quietly behind the scenes.  Now I could no longer fade into the furnishings.

  He had told them of my recent diagnosis and about God’s miraculous intervention.  The cancer had been successfully removed from my body.  No chemotherapy was needed.  Radiation was not ordered.  “We just don’t see results like this,” the oncologist had said as the reports were shared with us.

  Yet my mind raced in multiple directions and went blank at the same time.  What should I say to this crowd?  What do they need to hear, Abba?  What might be helpful?  What do You want to speak through me?  I stood there taking in the blank stares as the auditorium full of men awaited my words.  The stage lights were glaring.  Realizing I needed to say something before the pause became too awkwardly long, I said, “He told me to ‘say something about God.’”

  Finally, the silence had been breached and words began to flow.  But I have no idea what I said.  It was almost like one of those out of body experiences.  I felt like I was watching myself from behind, as if I was a puppet and someone was pulling the strings, pouring thoughts and words through me.  I briefly shared about my medical journey, and then stated, “Nothing can take you out if God is not finished with you.”  At one point, it was as though I became a broken record repeating a phrase over and over and over again for emphasis.  Situations were stated, followed by, “But God.”  Fears, crisis, complications – again, “But God.”  Stressors, losses, “But God.”  Of course, the point being, nothing that comes against us can defeat us unless God allows it. 

  When it was over, only a few words and phrases became etched in my memory – “But God” and “Nothing can take you out if God is not finished with you.”  And God had made it very clear to me that He was not finished with me. 

  In the days that followed, the Spirit reminded me that the words spoken through me were backed by God’s Word: 

No weapon forged against you will prevail,

and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. 

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,

and this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord.  

Isaiah 54:17 niv

  In the months that followed, I was surprised when those words returned to encourage my spirit.  It was as though He had me speak prophetically:  “Nothing can take you out if God is not finished with you,” because soon thereafter I had an infection that landed me in emergency surgery.  Then shelter at home orders were put in place because of COVID 19.  There were fears within, and threats without.

  More time passed, and we finally found ourselves meeting with yet another surgeon.  The treatment opinions and planning overwhelmed me.  My mind was fuzzy.  My responses were weak.  I simply could not articulate my thoughts or needs.

  Two days later I was in yet another doctor’s office, covered in a rash like I had never before experienced.  How much must my body endure?  The medical opinion was my body was attempting to relieve all the stress from the inside out.  Medication was prescribed, along with the anticipation of several weeks before it would be cleared.  “But God” … showed up again and in less than a week my skin returned to normal so that the next medical steps could be taken.

  Life continued and I was repeatedly reminded, “Nothing can take you out if God is not finished with you.”  In the days that followed, I found comfort in the words of Jesus when He said:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?

Yet not one of them will fall to the ground

apart from the will of your Father.

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 

So don’t be afraid:  you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:29-31 niv

  God spoke to my spirit that He was not finished with me yet.  And He proved that nothing could take me out since He still had work for me to do.  And now we are celebrating two years cancer free!

  What challenges might you be facing?  What ‘But God …’ moments have you experienced?  Your story is powerful.  Your story is necessary.  What might you share to encourage another who is waiting for their ‘But God …’ moment?